it is impossible

Easter Saturday

Acts 4:13-21

..they ordered them not to speak or teach at all in the name of Jesus

Mark 16:9-15

...he rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart because they had not believed those who saw him after he had been raised

In Acts, the Sanhedrin confers and all they can come up with is to demand that Jesus' followers stop speaking 'in His name.'  But that is 'impossible.'  I love how this is joined with the Marcan reading about Mary Magdalene "Apostle to the Apostles."  MM believes and witnesses and speaks in His name.  The boys don't believe.  They are rebuked.  

What changed is their 'hardness of heart.'  With a hard heart, it is possible to not speak or teach in HIS name.  We can do so on our own...in our own voice...to our own ends.  But that won't contribute much to the flourishing of the human family.  But with a heart soft enough to invite being taken over by the love of God, it is impossible not to be on mission...led by that love.

And the paradox seems to be that the more I chip away at my hardened heart the more I can come in "His Name" and the more truly I am myself.  

For me to be a saint means to be myself.  Therefore the problem of sanctity and salvation is in fact the problem of finding out who I am and of discovering my true self.  Trees and animals have no problem.  God makes them what they are without consulting them, and they are perfectly satisfied.

With us it is different.  God leaves us free to be whatever we like.  We can be ourselves or not, as we please.

-Thomas Merton

I please to be soft of heart

I please to be a home for God's love

I please to be a member of the Body of Christ

I please to speak, not in my own name

I please

Please God, help my unbelief.